A Turmoil

little miss bliss. I'm getting a little embarassed with this blog name. Maybe I should change it to miss bliss instead? I'm not too little anymore. Why bliss? Is there really so much to be happy and cheerful about? Why am I questioning this? I thought the theme is miss bliss because I wanted to focus on seeing the lighter and brighter side of things. Because we are supposed to be happy when we are young in order to have a happy lifetime (based on some research in some newspaper I read some time ago). Where is this bliss? On the label of my bottle of yoghurt drink. Seriously, I have not been able to type a single word the last few days because I didn't have a chance to look on the brighter and lighter side. What's so bright and light about food poisoning and diarrhea? (hmmm, at least I think I have less toxin in my body now). Maybe it is the reason to skip school for one day and take charcoal pills. Is my body calling out to me to take a rest? "Eh, woman, chillax wei". How do I relax and chill out when everything is in "pending" mode. The interviews. The exhibitors. The assignments awaiting my attempt. The finals. The French exams. The laundry. The research. The thesis. The news. The library book. The beach holiday(Oh, the beach holiday. God bless the beach holiday for it will be pending until at least end of this year). I hate waiting. I don't like to wait for things and I don't like things to wait for me. But it is happening and it cannot be avoided. Welcome to the life of a final-year student. Is it really so welcoming? I would be put off actually. But maybe it is an invitation for you to take a peek. It is quite nice to read about some other people's sufferings because then you wouldn't think you are alone in your miseries. Why am I assuming that everybody has misery? Am I really suffering? Why do I think that maybe I have been doing things in a wrong way all these while? Why do I think that every one of you reading this owes me an answer? What's wrong with me? Why am I turning cynical? Aren't I supposed to be optimistic (miss bliss, ma)? Why am I questioning? Am I not sure of myself? Not my usual self? No more clear objectives? Why do I feel like puking?

5 minutes later (after hugging ah pooh and a glass of Dutch Lady Low Fat Milk)

Ah. Finally got all those thoughts off my chest. Is this what we call mindless rant? It feels quite good sometimes. But I'm still giving serious thought into taking out 'little' from little miss bliss. I thought maybe I wouldn't post this after all. But I also thought why waste my typing effort!! Anyways, a clearer picture for you:


1) I didn't get the two hotels that I really wanted. (No space)
2) My period is due around the next few days. (No wonder (la))
3) I'm going for an all time big time interview this Saturday. And I'm nervous. (No joke)
4) I'm hungry. (No, seriously)